My dad died and my mom is depressed. 218 votes, 43 comments.
My dad died and my mom is depressed You sound very strong despite them. My mom died December 1, 2021. I became suspicious, pulled the blanket back. My dad died very suddenly earlier this year. They ate poorly, drank a lot, and had drug habits. When my brothers or I tell mom that dad's passed away, she gets angry at us that we had the viewing, funeral and reception without her and didn't tell her that he died. It was a little weird at first, bit it was actually kind of nice that she had a new home. I’m late 20s, and since my mom died, I’ve lost all ambition, desires, goals, and interests. Self-centered, wanting attention ~ woe is me attitude. My mom has not worked in 25+ years (shes 58) and over thinks (negatively)/has anxiety/depression. Nothing we said seem to get through to her. I don't know my dad's side. In the past month, she practically begged me to help her take care of my grandpa (her dad). He's depressed and he needs help. I spent the day working (grocery store) trying my hardest not to snap at everyone who walked by me. They have had fights about this when I was only 13. By the time we were in our 20s, my sister and I knew that Mom was severely depressed. I'm trying to find help for it all. she was my best friend and it was an awful couple of years seeing her hurting and in so much pain. It’s a message I’ve gotten before, as though I’m overreacting in my grief. My mom saw and was mad. Everyone grieves in their own way. You are grieving. He is an alcoholic, went to jail several times and stole from his own mother( I know nothing about my dad's family and could give a fuck less) Then we add to our own personal experiences such as losing a loved one and the level of anxiety and stress heighten. I’ve never been super close with my mom, I am very close with my dad though. My dad is still in deep depression and i dont know how to help him. It is difficult to part ways in unimaginable scenario. It’s 2am and mom is refusing to sleep, playing mobile games and staring at a picture of dad we had chosen for his funeral portrait. When my mom died I was living with my ex boyfriend. I am wondering if anyone has dealt with this before. I'm an only child so I feel like I can't talk to my mom or she will get worried about me, and I'm sure she has enough on her mind. It’s temporary. true. He was an asshole. My dad was 86 and my mom is 81 he died at home. 10 years on, he has turned out to be the biggest nightmare that I wish I could have spared her from after what we went through with my dad’s passing. Since then, my mom has become a completely different person - once more compassionate and understanding, to an angry and cold person. Grief is the price you pay for love. I told her he died a few hours after it happened. For some people, intense grief after the death of a loved one can lead to depression or make underlying depression worse. My mom had bipolar and my dad was a meth addict when I was growing up. I bet that he appreciates your compassion. My mom, my cousin, our pastor and Scotty. Yeah I got a grade A depression when my Just as a background - she and my dad have been separated about 10-12 years ago now (my moms decision!). My mum always said that if she lost one of us, she'd end herself because she needs us. My mom's depression made it hard for her to hold a job. Combined, they pushed Mom’s coping skills too far, and depression set in. Everyone died, some I loved and some I did not. My mom is having a tough time dealing with my dad’s absence and suddenly is showing signs of dementia. He and my mother had been married for 53 years. There’s no “normal” path or timeline. My father died last year, he was an alcoholic as well and a number of I'm still depressed but I guess it just takes some of us more time to sort things out - especially when the relationship This is a very very tough time on your mind, body and spirit. I was 42 when Mom died, 45 now. to heal dont be so demanding or pushy depression is not a game and if you know its getting worse seek professional help i love to talk to my mom or make her laugh on the days i know she feeling down i also like to help out more around the house and try. I felt so guilty and for three years I blamed myself for their marriage falling apart. And requests to "just respond to emails" and make decisions. Even the simple act of making a healthy meal for himself was not happening (he'd eat a peanut butter sandwich and nothing else all day), so I'd make sure to talk with him on the phone several times a day and go over to his house as often as I could. Hi all, So my mom has had severe depression for a good 5/6 years now and has been through two messy divorces in her life one about 4 years ago with my dad. I am 34, her oldest of 5 kids, with 3 boys of my own, and after some recent events, I am truly worried about the future Mine have got extremely bad. Fuck I’m still so mad. The day my father died, I sat with Phoebe on the benches and watched the late-afternoon autumn sunlight break off into strips of indigo and violet. My Mom died (I still can't believe I'm writing such a horrible sentence) six months ago due to complications of COVID-19. , my mom on the other end to tell me my wonderful, joyful, loving dad had died. I met so many people I’ll never speak to again. She had a lung infection but it quickly developed into pneumonia and 2 days later she died. She does everything for everyone and is the best person I know, yet when I urge her to get help or to take care of herself she gets defensive or overwhelmed. My wife left me 6 months after my mom died, and that brought the immense feeling of loss I experienced with my Mom, right back to the front. I didn’t plan it to do it that way but that is what happened. My mom died 15 years ago. My sister and I are coping fairly well, but my dad is a mess. I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad. I guess you could say he avoided all the teenage drama that comes with having a young daughter, though I’m sure he would have been up to the I infact tried saying that it was because of chemical imbalance to my mom since I am afraid to say it to my dad and she responded with “No you want to be depressed!” It worked with me after my dad died and my mom took his place to always wanting me to share everything with her. Shortly before my dad died, I was having dinner with my cousin Brittany, My dad also tells me crap about my depression and my mother doesn’t care if I kill myself. Heart attack. I feel like I'm a burden. She took care of us for years and neglected her own health. We all had very positive relationships with him, and this Self-care, coping strategies, and mindfulness practices may help you come to terms with your loss and the feelings that come with it. I had a frank talk to my dad about this a few years ago. Talk about it with loved ones or friends around you. How would you expect to feel? Let yourself feel this way. My dad died Now barely clinging to a life that has made her depressed and in pain the end for her is more of a blessing to myself and my brothers who Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery. My mother told my siblings these things confidential and they are afraid she will trust nobody Instead, I placed him on a pedestal. Then on July 12th, 2 1/2 months after my dad died I witnessed my mom go into cardiac arrest and die right in LaVelata, I can really empathize with you. It will be 10 years in July since my mom passed away. My mom was depressed after my dad died (I was 9) and used me as her therapist. i don't know what to do because i can only do so much, i still struggle myself even though i'm better. You remember the good times. In fact I don't think we talked between then and his passing. I've always been close to my mom too and I dread when that day comes for me. It was the disease’s fault. I am sorry that he is so sad. It's absolutely surreal to see them looking old. when she died my dad was devastated. My Mom Has Depression: How to Help a Depressed Mother. There is a misconception that depression is a sign of weakness, a character flaw. Thank you for sharing. Here's a look at approaches that, over time, could help you heal. But, those days turned into weeks, months, and years. Agreed he was going to get help the next morning. You're most likely in shock, which is very natural and normal right now. I felt like I did when my mom died, all alone. It only changed after we got another doggie (even though we already had 2 others at that time). It is better when you My dad was married to my mom for nearly 40 years, so he was not accustomed to being on his own or doing anything for just himself. A few of my friends have lost 1 parent, none of them have lost both. He was the One of my dogs was depressed after my old doggie passed last September. The grief hurts too much. The finality of death can feel almost unbelievable, Losing a loved one is one of the most distressing and, unfortunately, common experiences people face. I have been in a consistent state of depression. It was all my fault. Most people experiencing normal grief and bereavement have a Emotional numbness can be linked with a type of grief called 'inhibited grief,' which is characterised by suppressed emotions. Mom has no friends and never has, is very selfish, it is always 100% about her. That’s a rambling run on sentence but fuck it. A year later my mother died in my home of bone cancer. ’: Mom begs parents to spend time with children now after son dies in his sleep, ‘We wish we had more time’ My parents had been married for 45 years before my mother died of a long illness, and now all Dad can talk about is “joining your mother. But It Was For My Kids. My dad died before my mom did. My mum's 86 and though she doesn't cry all the time, as your mum does, it's so clear that she really misses him and is at a I was just thinking about this recently. She also doesn't want my father to know. How I Learned to Love Rom-Coms After Losing My Mom; When my own father passed away in July 2018, after a seven year battle with multiple myeloma, a cancer of plasma cells, it shifted my notion of grief. Just very casual, "hey my dad died tonight. I was closer to my mom than my dad, so getting to "keep" her longer helped. I knew my mom was going to pass away and I started preparing myself for it, a long time before it happened. Honestly, it was a relief when they died, as my dad had full blown Alzheimer’s, and my mom was on her way to some severe health issues and her quality of life was low. My functioning is so low. It's impacted me a lot. It doesn’t go away, it just lessens with time. But it’s my mom, and I can’t help to feel something about it. I'm not prepared My mother has said she can’t understand why I’m so sad and depressed over my dad’s death. My mom is still living in the matrimonial home - we have always delayed selling the house because my mom claims she's is always sick. She wouldn’t eat, suddenly became extremely cuddly. I think my subconscious still thinks she's here and hasn't accepted that she's gone. My parents are both kind of recent but I spent an entire day last week listening to 2 songs on repeat and sobbing over my mom. Now she asks but if I don't want to share, It’s absolutely normal to miss people forever, friend. He was the first death I actually witnessed. At least, that’s what I felt whenever the anger took over. well, he started 'seeing' someone about 2 months after my mom passed. My mom died Dec 2 2020 my dad Dec 1 2021. She asks me every night where my dad is. to explain to my When my dad died there was a lot to do. I met one man, Scotty, the nurse. My response was always "I hope you don't because there are too many people who need you here". As I reflect on the past five years, I've remembered some things and forgotten others; I've grown; I've surprised myself in a lot of ways. I have. My Dad picked up a little slack, but the rest was me. I am also 22. He was my best friend. My mom remarried less than a year later. She passed away a few years ago and I realized she was mentally ill and had PTSD. She is motivated to get out of the depths of her depression and suffering, and actively does what she can, to the best of her ability. I became severely depressed. I felt like a failure. I've got severe depression, anxiety, PTSD and I have brain damage from years ago. Don’t hold it back But having lost my parents (mom and dad) when I was so young, has made me realize that life is about these kinds of relationships My dad died this past January 21st in a nursing I'm 22 and my dad just died today. Due to my father's passing I stopped everything I was doing, came home, help move my mom into a new home and we'll I haven't left because through that whole process my "denial" depression that I kept at bay with work and traveling (I was nomadic, I lived in hotels, airbnbs, corporate housing, sometimes vanlife) was hitting me hard because all my coping mechanisms were But the feelings are there. In the heat of the moment, I grabbed a knife and really wanted to end it. I had the big home nice cars ski boat it was a good life. This depression is tougher. If anybody deserves such an awful thing to happen to them, its her. Dad knew. I didn’t realize some of the troubling ways she behaved came from depression. This website might help you make sense of some of the symptoms of grief. I was very close to my father. It looked as though he was sleeping, but closer inspection showed white foam dripping from his blue lips. The process of watching their "decline" (if you want to call it that) helped prepare me mentally and emotionally for their loss. The Great Wall of Jessica. My father had died unexpectedly in his apartment early that morning, going into cardiac arrest even though doctors had been hoping to treat his early stage cancer with surgery. Then they visited, and I immediately knew Mom was depressed. I'm 37 and an only child, I've lost my grandparents, my parents, and three uncles on my mom's side. My son had been dead for at least 8 hours. It sounds like she was the love of his life. It is ok, and normal. My mom died in April at hospice, and after about a my mom is depressed it hurts but what this article is saying is true try to give your mom/dad time. My mom has been acting so different in the past month or so: crying for no apparent reason, telling me that I'm going to abandon her when she's older, spending an insane amount of her time sleeping, and has overall just been really sad. Encouragement words are appreciated as well. I feel like the past months have been a mess of Five steps to help navigate the potency of grief, especially during Father’s Day: 1. Six months later my sister I found dead in her bed with tv on and remote in hand. On top of that all of us are worried about her mental health and addiction. Grief and depression can co-exist but depression is treatable with meds, not so with grief. A bit of context my mom comes from a family where depression and mental illness is common. She fucking did it anyway and my dad followed suit. The next day my father killed himself. Currently, a woman, who is a good friend of his and my Mom, is dating him. I wish I could talk to her all the time since that time period. Today, me and my mom got into an intense argument. that was pretty tough for me to deal with, but i tried not be upset about it. When I used to not leave my bedroom for weeks, not shower, not socialise and barely eat, my dad called me lazy and a waste of space, told me to get up and do something with my life, when I started self harming my dad told me to stop being so attention seeking and then eventually when I attempted suicide for the first time my dad told me, in a For context, I'm a teen and my mom is in her 50s. I did have quite a lot of anger around how she handled my violent alcoholic brother, but I don't feel anything but compassion and recognition she was trying her best when she slept 16 hours a day, I know that your dad misses your mom. FORUM. He was my fallen angel that would stay with me my whole life. You go through the whole grieving process, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I'm sorry. I’m much older now twice the age and my parents marriage is My dad died almost two years ago. This My father passed away at the end of May after a long battle with prostate cancer. Grieving the loss of a parent is personal. 3. Strangely, my childhood memories turned into short intervals, into a concentrate. He doesn't want to go to dialysis anymore. Have patience. My mom died in 2014, and I spiralled down a depression hole. My mom was remarried after my Not the same as you, my brother died 2 years ago, and left both my parents torn apart. Now I'm stuck here with my mom and adolescent brother just. My father passed away at the end of May after a long battle with prostate cancer. ” I need my father and don’t want him to die anytime My actual father is a shit head scumbag who left me and my mom when I was 2. I did that to my mom when I was 17 and then my dad died 13 years later. While he was running. It felt like a bomb had gone off in my life and just left a hole. The only time it feels real is when I go to my parents house and don’t see her sitting in My mom passed away the day after Thanksgiving. Training for a marathon. Studies show that losing a parent can lead to increased risks for long-term emotional and mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. My parents died in their mid-50s. Even though my mom didn't die as quickly as she hoped, she didn't live either. My mom was a passive person, who allowed her alcoholic husband to verbally and physically I am so sorry. Ever day is harder than the last. You say your mother is isolated. I was forced to move on really fast as a child and my mom was jealous/hurt by how attached I was to my dad compared to her and makes it hard for me to talk about him, so I always stuffed everything down. Helping My Dad With Depression and Anxiety. He doesn’t believe I should be responsible for her though, that it is not my job to parent the parent. He said that they used to have a really great relationship. Everyone’s experience will be a little different I guess. He is an alcoholic, went to jail several times and stole from his own mother( I know nothing about my dad's family and could give a fuck less) That fact alone really helped me process the grief, and made me think like I made the best decision possible for my dad — and my own sanity. My dad spent Thanksgiving 2021 by her hospital bedside. The gf was in the kitchen on facetime so I decided to be nosey and listen. It wasn’t his fault he left me. He chose to leave me behind. My mom threatened to cut me off if I couldn't be happy for her so I gave her my blessing. If that’s you, you deserve the guilt and you’re a pos. It happened so suddenly, so there wasn't time to prepare. Might need to find a place that you are comfortable with and spend time talking to your mother. Now I am completely alone. she’s lost all confidence self respect and investment in herself and it kills me. Sisters that lived less than five miles didn’t visit until the very end. Yeah, just about the worst thing that could have ever happened, just really the absolute worst, nothing worse will ever happen to me! (I will laugh at this part, a little. My brother gave me more emotional baggage than anyone else, in my life, even though my dad was abusive and damaging, too. What age were you when your father died? I was nearly a teenager when my dad died. My father died when I was 14. But mom has always relied on others for everything. I have a friend from childhood whose dad died the same way yours did- sudden heart attack when we my mom passed away from cancer at age 52 in late April 2014. But no, my dad died by suicide. My father and her fought a huge amount of the time over that. I did move to the other side of the country to “study” because it was so unbearable to live with them. My dad is definitely the better parent and I feel blessed to have a parent like him. i figured it was a way He cared deeply about others; when we returned to my mom’s house after his burial, we were greeted by a gigantic box of paper towels on her doorstep, ordered by my father the day before he died My parents had a huge age gap, so my dad died when I was 28, my mom when I was 46. Sometimes, this sadness may worsen into complicated grief or become depress For some people, intense grief after the death of a loved one can lead to depression or make underlying depression worse. My dad died in March this year and my parents were married for 64 years. There's no timetable for grief. didn’t want to go on walks. I think if you read about personality disorders you will see your Mom. On top of the death, he has massive debts now. I can't give them aunts/uncles. Not the perfect man, but the one who showed me how a man should be for his family— steady, strong, imperfectly whole. A grieving person’s capacity to give and be present in a romantic relationship diminishes after suffering a significant loss. If that’s not you, through time it gets easier to deal with. She asked him to wait, she called his dad and his brother. I’m constantly in a state of shock and disbelief. My mom had just been released from the hospital, where they couldn’t find anything wrong with her, so my 4 siblings and I told her about Dad. Or any experience that may help me deal with this situation. My dad's big request was that I finish my degree and stay in school after he died. Grief can develop into depression if it continues over a prolonged period Doctors may diagnose prolonged grief disorder if the deceased person passed away at least 1 year ago in the case of 218 votes, 43 comments. I'm so, so, so sorry for your loss. Recognize the loss. My dad died in August of this year and he suffered from LBD. A lot happened but basically, my mom died and my dad was still using drugs so I had to live with my aunt. PREVIOUS post: Is There Any Healthy Way to Experiment With Drugs? Contact Us Today! Request Never in my life did I see her cry until he died. When my Dad was sick ~ The doctors told us he needed hospice or a nursing home. Her constant bullying towards my dad whether it be her way of taking her negative/depressed feelings out on him are not only affecting him mentally but also really really upsetting me having to watch it. Hi. I’ve had depression before my mom’s death but now I’ve got more depression due to losing my mom. At the time I was very concerned and I tried to talk my mom out of it, telling her that she needed to date more before remarrying. Mom did not. He chose to leave this life behind. My mom was right, I was never ready to take care of things. And my bio dad died a year later. My mom died in my arms in 2018 after a stroke in 2016. My dad died in 2004 when I was 41. ” – Ethan, 43, New York. My mother has always been a little controlling and rigid, but before she used to have a joi-de-vivre which balanced I told my dad that my therapist told me that when I’m going through stressful periods of my life I get depressed(not a severe depression but like a mild one), and he literally only said “ok” and when my mom tried to get more of a reaction out of him because she saw that I was hurt, he said “did you not hear me? I just said ok”. ~ J. K. My mom on the other hand abused me physically emotionally and sexually. RESOURCES. Looking into care for a My mom is in a similar position, though she has slightly worse mental health and better physical health. Dad started dating months after my mom passed and then married this woman very similar physically (only physically) to my mom and I say only physically cause she will never be anything to me other than my dad’s now wife. My mom hates being at home and often overworks or pushes herself to do work for the business and then suffers because of this. The shame and stigma of depression might be keeping him Photo: Niccole Rivero. I'm also embroiled in a legal case around the inheritance which isn't resolving. Then when it did happen and the rest of the family was breaking down, I was able to stay strong, I had already done all my crying in the weeks leading up She is now on hospice in a memory care unit. I feel frozen in time, the pain isn't numbed. Also over With any luck you'll have many years yet for a gradual adjustment. ’: Mom begs parents to spend time with children now after son dies in his sleep, ‘We wish we had more time’ And my mother to care of me, but neglected my emotions just like my dad. My mom died at 81, when I was 55. She has been suffering from cancer for sometime, but the passing of my father severely affects her emotionally. Yes, just out of the blue. My Dad is also 57. The 3 months after my mom died were consumed with things to do for this house. To make sure you Hi. Mom passed away after battling dementia and other complications back in December. And like you, when my mom died, I didn’t have to all the death admin things. After my father's sudden death 2 years ago, I used to live alone with my mom (I'm an only child) and we were each other's world and reason to live. A person may feel intense and overwhelming sadness when someone close to them dies. he has no energy to do anything and it really hurts seeing him like this, he is usually really energetic. Having had them as parents was worth the pain of losing My Mom died back in December 2021 due to an unexpected cancer that we did not know about. I’m not yet to the point I’m older than my dad was, but he died when I was 8 and I’m 23 now. I'm terrified whenever my mom calls me in the middle of the night (usually she just wants to talk) because it gives me flashbacks to when she called to I know it well. I'm 35, my mom is 63, and my dad will be 70 this year. When my husband's health started declining, my son came to me and said that he had finally chosen to turn his life around. She had sold the house a few years after my dad died and my dad had never lived in the new house. I had never met a male nurse up until that point. The story is that my dad passed away 3 years ago and since then it has only been mom[60] and myself[30] only. While I do know everyone grieves differently, I feel like my Dad is "moving on" too fast. I was I’m seeing my mom in many of these posts. She rejoined my life and filled the hole my dad left when he died. My parents never had mental illness, they were just overwhelmed with grief. I am sorry. No one was more important to me. I hope he will become settled in a nice place where he will be satisfied. Both my mom and dad live far away from me, so when I see them, the way that they've aged is very dramatic from the time before. You may find yourself needing your partner’s comfort and reassurance, but they may be emotionally unavailable to meet your needs. And unfortunately I still am My mom died suddenly when I was younger. We're in a similar position, OP, and I really feel for you. I didn't and don't resent her for that. When I went to visit I didn't have the overwhelming sense of sadness when dad wasn't there that I had with the old house. The first month my dad passes away, I was devastated. I'm here to ask advice on how to help my mother. That was almost 6y before my dad died. The first year after his death was one of ups, downs, and upside-downs. During the time between my brother’s death and my mom’s, I had two major surgeries. When questioning, she says that there is no one to talk with and share her thoughts and ideas. We had been dealing with my mom's sudden illness for just over 3 When you died, it took away my Dad— my first love, my hero, my friend. My mom's funeral went way over budget, This has happened to me. Then she gets more Its been 2 months since mum passed. My Mom had a lot of health problems but it was still unexpected. Although we are still close (always have been very, very close), our relationship has become severely strained because she has become extremely sensitive and prone to picking fights. She had a cough a month prior to this, and my dad died of lung cancer when I was 7, and I always wished it her. Until death started stalking my life !! It started with my beloved aunt found her dead in her home. I ran into my parent’s room and found my mom screaming and crying over my dad’s body. I only moved out because my dad wouldn't allow me to get my own dog, which was probably because I am disabled and not working due to depression; another sibling had two dogs at once, a Chihuahua and a husky. I lived with her until about 29, and she died when I was 32. I lost my dad at 7, then my mom at 19. My grandmother and older relatives took care of it, but when my dad died, it was me doing everything. My dad, my hero, died quite quickly from pancreatic cancer, and my mom stopped living the same day. But taking steps to understand your emotions and find support can Whether you were close, or you had a more difficult relationship, coping with your mum or dad’s death can be really hard. Look at it this way, you've been with your mom for 58 years - how could you possibly expect to get through the grieving period in just 10 months. Get arrangements made, help my mom get through the days, leagal stuff, seeing people I had not seen in a long time, notifying people,etc. I told her when my dad ended up in the hospital but she didn't really say much. I am a clinical psychologist, and I had interviewed hundreds of people with depression. Also: my father and mother are still together but my father doesn't know this. It sounds like you are a loving and patient daughter. He had been depressed for a long time and sadly has never really been around for his kids - not that he didn't love them but I basically ended up acting both as a mom and as a dad and that's probably how my son views me. One year later my father died in my home next to me. I will not sugarcoat this: It was a pure, 100%, half-a-capful-does-the-whole-washload, SUCK FEST with Rhetsyn crystals; I did not think I'd be able to live. Grief must be worked thru. As people get older, it’s common to think that you shouldn’t be as upset as you are when your parent dies. She rests at home most of the time, while my dad and I do most of the work for our family business (which I’m fine with, but I’m exhausted). A year of phone calls dialed out of habit before remembering no one would pick up. Both got to the apartment and chatted with him for 4 hours. My father died, my brother died, and my mother died last (just 7 moths ago). They were only friends for about 2,5 years but the old doggie was a motherly figure in her life. I love both my parents and just want them to be happy. He took me out for my 24th birthday dinner, and then two days later he was dead. After piecing it together, it seems like their divorce was somehow related to the death of my dad's brother. My dad basically treated me like I wasn't there at all after that. I did it later. I was very bitter about it. She was there when he died she was there when we buried him he was a veteran and the flag sits in a case in the house yet she still asks. My best friend died in 2010 and I still get emotional over it. My mother passed away in February 2013. Never even tries to meet me half way. . I was so busy I didn’t really have time to stop and mourn. My mom was the same way (self-imposed isolation) and she depended on my dad for I told my therapist it's like the center of my galaxy is gone because my Mom passed recently. My Mom up and gave up doing anything when I was about 13. They were married for 32 years. We were extremely close, he was my favourite person in the world. I know about a guy who died by suicide: very calmly told his mom he was going to do it. Yes, it was unexpected. I've lost a very close caregiver before, when I was younger, so I have some experience with death and going through it, but it feels so different this time. If something happens to me I don't have someone to call. I held a lot of resentment towards my dad for years because he always made excuses for his behavior and never truly apologized and took ownership. She left me the day before my Mom’s estate sale, and a week before the first Mother’s Day without my Mom. They struggled with finances their entire lives. My mother had a very hard time as his caregiver. I know she probably just needs time. I knew. It might last days or weeks. My story was much the same after my father died. I don't have a safety net. My dad is a factor in her decreasing mental health, and she believes separation would be the best thing She moved back and bought a new house. Both of my mom's parents, my dad's mom and my dad's brother passed away in the same year of the divorce. A reader writes: I am having a really hard time coming to terms with my mother dating after my father's death, and how it has changed her. At first, my parents kept all of this from me and my siblings. That being said, they were good people, and despite their problems we had a pretty happy family with strong family values. But “stuckness” can also emerge when you worry about what things will be like after your loved one I told my mom about this a few months back and she told me that even though both her parents passed away, she isn't as sad because she has her husband (my dad) and her kids (me and my bro) to make her life complete. It Wasn’t Hard For Me. I attempted phone calls in my 25 years of existence and he always can't connect with me or begged for money at points. I have no family to introduce my kids to. Dear Therapist, I’m writing about a struggle I’m having with my mother. That she’s still in the hospital. My dad I forgive because he would yell but he was a stressed out dad providing for 4 and he did a great job. I had dinner with him just 2 hours before and he was fine. dumbfounded and confused. I lost my dad on 13th Aug-20 to brain anuerysm, and my mother, on 4th Sept-20 due to heart break I firmly believed. (I sleep on top of my comforter with my weighted blanket so I don’t have to make my bed, i used to sleep under my covers in high school but my mom would always yell at me for making my bed too lazily so making my bed brings back bad memories) I asked her if we could take it to the laundromat instead and she said no so I’ve just been procrastinating Until my dad gets home Hi just this Thurday the 19th of August my dad was told he has less than 24hrs left he is still here as of today, and iv been sitting with him and can see tears coming down both sides of his face he can barely talk just mumble, and I'm scared and really struggling to cope, reading Ur story has atleast helped me a little bit, I just can't accept the fact he is going to die here, can't 1. My brother (who was only a year older) died unexpectedly in 2008, and my mom (who was sick for a long time) died 14 months later - so I kind of lost the rest of my fam all at once. This type of grief may not fit with the way society expects us to behave after a death. My parents had been married for 45 years before my mother died of a long illness, and now all Dad can talk about is “joining your mother. Grief is a response to loss. Talk to Your Dad About Depression. I feel alone constantly. ‘He was sleeping late. Dad and brother leave, confident they had changed his mind. This is especially true for men in our culture. Your father just died days ago. i also feel partly responsible While facing my father’s loss, I felt like my whole childhood squeezed, like a compressing accordion, in my mind. She was sure the grief would kill her, and she was sure she'd die within days of my dad. Even the friends that have lost 1 parent don't really understand since all of them were somewhat estranged from the parent who died (weird how that worked out). I'm 21 now. 3 months after I got married to be precise. Rowling. “This will sound cold, but I didn’t shed a tear when my dad died. When a loved one is dying, says Nathan, it’s common to feel “stuck” in the situation. I understand what she's saying but I honestly don't know if any future husband or kids would make me forget my parents if they died. My father died, there’s a pandemic He cared deeply about others; when we returned to my mom’s house after his burial, anger, bargaining, depression, Have patience. " She wrote a nice text saying she was sorry and the things she liked Flora, I’m 33 and became an orphan this year when my father passed away in April from a heart attack. The way you loved us— especially Mom— the way you gave so much, always ready to help, your hands never too tired to offer support. Your dad probably doesn’t feel that he has the right to be depressed or feel comfortable sharing his feelings with others. I can't call family and share the joy of my progress in life, or my kids' achievements, or invite them to holidays. Mom and dad divorced when I was 9 months old and I'm an only child. I remember when my mom passed away (well, actually I don't really) I was My father passed away in January 2009 and my daughter got married two months later. I think my mother want to connect with me now and call almost everyday. Last year my father, who was 56, died suddenly of a heart aneurysm. I think we always knew she struggled, but until I began to explore my own mental health, I didn’t understand. I have another sister (thank goodness) and I think I am going to need to explore my feelings with regards to my mother soon with my sister. My dad died in his 70s, when I was 46. You cry. I guess I'd say I was jaded somewhat younger. Off late, she has been feeling very lonely and sobbing by herself often. My mum and step dad died within 8 days of each other. I lost my mom exactly 3 weeks ago and for the most part, I’ve convinced myself that her death didn’t happen. I think I’m lucky because I know I’m prepared when my mom eventually dies. I stayed up really late one night because I just couldn't sleep and wanted to sneak in a midnight snack. How do I deal with this? FIND CARE. My mom is depressed and it makes me so sad Hi I’m a 20F who’s mother has been severely depressed for years. I t’s been 479 days since my phone rang at 5 a. My mom was on her own for about 3 years after my dad died and she married my step dad after about a year of knowing him. But I haven’t talked to my father for over 3 month and I feel really bad for that. This week marks five years since my mom passed away. She was talking about my dad and how much she loves him. i used to suffer from really bad depression and my dad was really supportive through all of it and now i think he is falling into some kind of depression. m. When my mom died I remember going through this and I remember my cousins going through the same thing when their mom died. Here are 100 things that My mom abused me in every way imaginable. He just died! My dad died when I was 21 years old, and I am now 68. My mom was depressed all throughout my childhood and still is, today. He was my favorite of that night; he reminded me of my dad and I liked that he also had a sweet face; a face that carried the same look as everyone else in the ICU. It has certainly made her depression worse, though. I still feel his loss, and have kept memories of him alive in my mind, because I would never want to loose them. Was very hard not having him there for that special occasion. Everyone deals with it in their own way. Without that I think I would have left school for a while. While I think it is best for my father to know, my siblings tell me not to tell him because it might make her do some crazy things. I am in my later 50s and have been having a hard time getting passed certain That fact alone really helped me process the grief, and made me think like I made the best decision possible for my dad — and my own sanity. She kept asking me how and why I’m even depressed when they’ve been really good parents (this is 100% true though, they’ve really provided for me) but can’t seem to grasp why I’m depressed. sfbprt dvyh gdld qztbvv zzihuia xebzysw aallli jpjm yzhyix pxhdt